been through a lot recently
finally seeing some light
thanks to friends
you know who u are

a true man may not be the "best fighter"
he may not be a jerk
neither is he nice
he is just a normal person who does the right things

a true man is someone who is calm enough to think
able to control his temper
not by vending his anger on others
or by keeping everything to himself
most importantly he is able to see things from a different angle
even when everything is against him

a true man understands the fact that we'll all be eventually alone
being able to grab opportunity and know when to let go

a true man is brave enough to admit his failure
but determine to get up from set backs

a true man is humble to learn from others
while standing firm on his principles
being flexible when necessary and not stubborn

perhaps my previous thoughts of a man is wrong
when i try to inflict pain in myself
trying to numb myself in vigourous training etc

i should never mix training with emotions
because this is not what training is about
fitness should be a passion
not a place for you to vend your anger, unhappiness
life is too tough if i train this way
because i can never be good enough
when my mind is not clear
i can never achieve what i want

i thought i'm matured
but when it comes to emotions
i'm still a kid

as a man, i must be brave enough to admit my weakness
and learn to be a "true man"

sit back, play my guitar , enjoy the private moment and smile
i'm so glad that i'm starting to see light =)

entry out

watch the below video



it's indeed one of the greatest love story of all time
a love for a father who would do anything for his son

the last part where u see dick hoyt brust into tears
it shows that the emotions and thoughts he's been through
i believe no one can understand his true feelings
but we can only watch and respect this old man
how he created such a miracle
and give inspirations to many professional/amateur athletes


ironman race:
3.86 km ocean swim ; 180 km bike ride ; marathon 42.2 km



it's time to do more things in my life
stop wasting time
"live a meaningful life"


entry out

celebrated my 23rd birthday in waraku with the judo club
joanne gaved me 2 packets of gummies
kim hoo, garrick and amanda gave me 1 kg of mix gummies
amy gave me a lollipop !
really appreciate it
meeting the secondary sch gang in friday night

i've stop training for 4 days
after experiencing left side chest pain
went to polyclinic on thursday morning
referred to alexander hospital A & E
did X-ray & ECG
apparently doctor told me he did not find any problem in heart and lung
but i still gotta take extra precaution when training
and he even told me i'm in a very good shape now
esp. after i lift up my shirt for him to listen to my heart beat

after i'm certified "fit"
it's time i go all out for judo training
i really need to train harder
there are so many better players
i've stop judo for 8 years?
its time to catch up what i've lost

anyway i need to get fxxking fit
i'm serious
i hate losing in sparring
no longer the nice and kind marco a year ago
controlled rage is something i work towards
i need to be smart and aggressive in fights

just like a snake
stalking and subdueing it's prey
tactical in applying it's moves
ruthless in killing
*in the animal kingdom, fittest survive

violence is the only way to cure my pain
it is a pain that i have with me
the pain to change to a new marco


entry out

i finally know where is my limit
first time in my life i experience multiple core muscle dysfunction
had a damn hard time trying to get up of bed
neck, abs, back, tricept and thigh are restricting my movements
using the technique of rolling the body over and get up
without straining the back and neck muscles

this is a result of over training
i over estimated my body
the past 4 days is intensive and i've fully understand the limitations of human
i guess is time to rest a few days until i fully recover from this ordeal

time is running out
and i can't afford to waste any more time
i'm still considering whether to participate the ironman next march
4 months to train for it

with other factors to consider such as studies, judo , injuries and work
am i still able to overcome such a tough race?
should i push myself once more?
i know where is my limits
but can i push even further ?

i believe this is a problem faced by many athletes
and some died while looking out for this answer
i hope i have the good fortune and wisdom to overcome it

i don't want to live forever
i just want to live my dreams

had another round of kuishinbo last sat
yeah food is good and money well spent
after that went for the ub bash with sim judo

the bash is fun
everyone is enjoying it
seen some "exciting" moments in the club
some malay try to pick a fight with some bengs
i was kind of looking forward to see some actions
but well, it turn out to be just "dare"

i hate it when people told me i'm "fatherly"
esp. the girls
i hate it when i'm seen as such a figure
although it's a compliment but i just don't like it
maybe i shd not take care of them
juz leave them drunk in the club
it is easier to be said than to be done
my heart is too soft to see my friends like that
maybe thats just me
heart soft

next day
late for my appointment at 11am
felt super screwed up
after that went judo trg
good training
sweat at least 1 litre
utilising every single strends of muscles available
i'm getting stronger after every trg
i love the feeling of aching when i woke up the day after trg
need to peak myself before injuries kicks in
if only my body can recover faster
i wish i can train 7 times a week
but i know my body only can take 3 times
excluding the fact that i'm using the break in between to train for running and swimming

the insane period is here
i'll be looking towards competition
i want to win



entry out.

it has been some time since i start to like someone again
the previous one is a joke
i shall not talk abt it

anw. i'm feeling human again
i feel happy with her
a very fun and interesting person to be with
can talk abt anything from work ,life , music to studies
treating her like a small sister for now
bully her whenever i have the chance ! keke

shall not think too much either
definitely the feeling is rather positive

i enjoyed being single
"emo" is never the word to describe myself
a man must only be strong and stronger

she ask me are u mcp ?
will u control your gf?
my ans: i always believe man must be stronger and better than one's partner
i won't try to control her from being better than me
but i will make sure i am stronger and better
how? constantly upgrading myself, stronger determination and motivation to excel in ones career , both physically and mentally

am i being egoistic? no. i respect women with all their rights
women are so noble because they are the mothers who gave birth to us
shower us with all the love in this world
i won't be what i am today without my mom
and i also believe that women are better than men in many ways
however, i believe this is just what a man should be "aiming" for
and it is this spirit that charms a woman

fact of life : women love ambitious men

man should always behave like a man
wuss are weak men who are despised by women
always seek for improvement
this is something a man should be
to strive for a better life for his family

anw. tmr is another happening day
this whole week is super packed with activities
uni life is so exciting !

end of dfs (diploma in financial service)
start of cfp (nov) and acca (dec)
finally it's time to get back to work
need to hit get some production before my manager starts to nag again

had a great dinner with friends yesterday in kuishin bo
lots of great food and good bonding session
my friends in judo are growing
friends in rmit are growing as well
very happy with my current lifestyle

few things i want to regain control
-must improve on my studying habit, i must not last min chiong again
-pack up the mess in my room
-start working again
-start to wake up early and do my morning physical training
-start training for the upcoming races in nov and dec
-train judo 3 times a week
-break some arms in sparring (juz kidding..)

i get to know a few girls recently
and i start to understand people more
liking is very easily generated
u just need to go out with this person, chat on msn/phone
have something similar or interesting to clique on
but i believe to love someone takes more than just feelings
but rather the commitment to stay single
and of coz other factors etc..

i'm starting to feel lucky due to my "single" status
and i get to know and interact with more people
casual going out and datings are just ways for me to understand people more
there are so many things out there waiting for me to be achieved
and i know i can only afford to stay in this way

it is a good feeling to be in love
i understand it
but can i juz extract the good thing ?
just get the good feeling and discard the negative stuff?
can.. juz stay single lor

forgetting is a very useful skill
sometimes when i just don't feel like doing something
i'll choose to forget it
life has turn me to a nasty and cunning person
which i believe it's perfectly alright
the world is only great after u realise what is nasty

we can never see the contrast between good and bad
until we ourselves have the taste of what is bad
agreeable?
sounds like some philosophy of my hardcore training
but it's true

that's why i love hardcore training
it juz matches my hardcore character
training till puking
it sucks to puke
but after puking u feel a sense of satisfaction
this is an amazing feeling
which i believe there is an explainating in sports science or psychology
and i'm just too lazy to find out the term for it

anyway, back to the topic
i'm not trying to be "emo" or what shit
recently there are people around me who keep "emo"
getting sad and down over certain issues
r/s, families , studies .. watever..
r/s in particular
i always give my advice
stop being a pussy
be a man and move on

what differentiate man with woman is not just that piece of spongy meat
it is the character that man possess

as a man u need to be strong to move on
obstacles are challenging and it makes you want to overcome it
setbacks are excuses that makes you come back, dying for more
pain is never a suffering , it is a joy
losing is not everything, but winning is
never ever look back, just move forward no matter how difficult it is

motivating?
this is how i overcome my life
it is hard and easy to be a man
but i choose to think that it is easy
because u are what u think

entry out.

anyway i just realised that i've becomed a busy body
i think i shall remain focus in my own life
shall not dig into other people's shit
none of my concern anyway

back to more training !

entry out.

i can feel myself getting stronger and stronger everyday
constant pushing myself to the limits
i guess this feeling has become an addiction
the feeling of overcoming while suffering in process

watching yourself getting stronger and stronger
looking in the mirror and i see the difference of half a year of training
this keep me motivated

i train not for myself nor anyone
i train because i'm addicted
it's like a drug
you are just sucked into it and the next dosage must be stronger
the craving just gets stronger and stronger
and it becomes part of my "life"

interesting ?
start training and u will understand


entry out.

random thoughts...

i was told by a friend that i'm a safest driver among all the friends she had
well i'll treat that as a compliment =)

i wasn't that "safe" until i met my first accident in 14 feb 2007
yeah. embarrassing moment for me.

i guess i've toned down a bit and realised that being safe is the most important aspect of driving.

as a driver , not only are we responsible of the lives of the people inside the car we are also responsible for the well being of everyone within his/her proximity ( predestians and other road users )

it is important to keep within speed limit, check out for approaching vehicles/predestrians and also stay extra alert esp. during wet weather and late nights.

very often it is the ego that triggers the "unsafe"
eg. some lorry cut your lane , trying to impress chix thru speeding.

seriously i don't understand why chix are attracted to speed.
perhaps through speeding they can find the typical "bad boy" that they always fantasize about.

silly right? well, this is how life goes about. somethings that i can never understand.

be a "bad boy" for all you can. but risk endangering the lives of others and regret for your whole life.

so drivers, before you want to try something funny like drinking, stunts or speed.
pls think thrice .accidents are no joke. so pls don't risk , be safe.

*lastly, back passengers pls buckle up.

entry out